I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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