just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
