I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
