You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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