It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Terrible idea I love it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
