Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
