what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
