I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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