Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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