Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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