walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I am morally bankrupt
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
