May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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