he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Alive.
So much puke
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
