Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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