I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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