her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
