I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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