im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
