I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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