Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
