and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
