so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
