Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize