I just saw a hot homeless man
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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