then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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