white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
