I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
