I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
