your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
