We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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