Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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