can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
