we're blogging at a bar
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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