the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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