it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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