He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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