i permit you to call me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
