i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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