I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
