Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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