Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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