OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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