I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
