Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize