it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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