so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
