I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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