so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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