this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
