using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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