Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
