I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
