Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
