We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize