I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
