yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
