Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
