It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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