threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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