I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
