Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
