allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
