So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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