just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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