we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you had me at cake vodka
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
