I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
