i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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