Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
