Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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