hotel room ftw
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
