Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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