508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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