Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
